The opposite of robbing a candy shop

Sarah and I went to Aqui last night and we drank swirls. Swirls are industrial adult slushies made from sangria, blended margaritas, and unicorn tears, and they are as fucking delicious as they are dangerous. You might think it's a good idea to split another one with your friend, but don't do it. They're wily little bastards, with sneaky, hit-you-over-the-head alcohol content, and if you fall for their siren song you'll be lucky if you get to your car without singing loudly on the street or telling perfect strangers that you love them.

We had one swirl each and then decided it was time to go to the candy store LIKE FUCKING ADULTS. 

We pretty much opened the door and threw money at the clerk. We might have yelled, "TAKE IT. TAKE IT ALL." 

Sarah probably wouldn't remember it that way, but I'm pretty sure that's what happened. We walked into the candy store, pointed to things while talking loudly and taking pictures of ourselves, and then we threw a bunch of money at the cashier. She gave us a hodge-podge bag of things that we seemed content with, and then we happily walked out the door. 

I grabbed a stick of cherry Laffy Taffy and ripped it open. Laffy Taffy is largely unappreciated by everyone who isn't me, so I lavished extra love and affection on this taffy, telling it with actual spoken words how much I loved it. It's important to make your empty calories feel good about themselves.

I'd say it was a successful evening if I left it at that, but then I decided I should write a novel (for real this time) and I bought a book to help me do it. Even if I just read the book and never write a word of said novel, I'm going to maintain this was the most successful weeknight I've had in at least two months. 

Here's the book that's going to help me on my journey. The cover art took me in, with allusions to old-timey hiking packs. I'm going on an adventure! And while flipping to the back resulted in disappointment that I won't be getting an actual badge for buying this book, I feel kind of good about this.

Tell me that you don't want to strap this book to your back and tramp through the Alps. Do it. I dare you.

Using the opposite of logic, I've decided a few things this week about fine tuning "my process."

1. Creating a site where I can just write the things opened the door to actually writing the things.
2. Spending all the money on candy results in excitement to write the things.
3. Buying books about writing the things makes me happy, even if it doesn't, in fact, result in me writing the things.

Thanks to the few friends who kept their groans to themselves while beta testing my site. (I have six Marco Polos blinking on my phone, so I'm going to entertain the possibility that you've managed to slip one in and that I just haven't seen it yet.) My appreciation for you can only be measured in half-drunk sangria swirls and midnight raps where I attempt to rhyme words with "hollandaise sauce."