Unfulfilled promises
When I began this project I made a solemn vow. In print, it probably didn't read this way, but in my head when I wrote
- I'll write something highly complimentary about a romance novel.
- People will think that all of my friends also enjoy romance novels.
it was most definitely a sacred promise that I would make my friends romance novel enthusiasts by association. Today I make good on this threat... er.... promise by talking books.
As I might have previous mentioned in last week's stomach plague play-by-play, I had to take a 24 hour break from reading to attend to more important things like being horizontal by my toilet and engaging myself in deep contemplation of how good the cold tile felt on my sweaty face. This is an unprecedented break from reading for me, so you'll imagine my relief when I found that I could divert energy previously expended on casting up my crumpets back to my eyes and my e-reader where it belonged. Mind you, I was nowhere near full reading power, as the sick was siphoning off my ability to concentrate at an alarming rate. To compensate for lack of brain power, I had to adjust my reading material accordingly. That meant no epic fantasies with 800 characters and no new universes. I also decided I couldn't do a memoir (even in comic book format) because it's disrespectful to the author to read their personal histories with a foggy brain. Being sick was depressing enough so I couldn’t abide anything sad. So... I'd have to wait on finishing the last delectable bit of The Wise Man's Fear and I couldn't awkward laugh at Persepolis. I wouldn't pick up the much awaited third installment of The Elemental Web Chronicles even though I HAD to know what scienc-y shit Anne Renwick would be doing with a freaking octopus. (Since then, I've found out and I can attest to the value of adding evil bio-mech octopi to your steampunk adventure arsenal.)
Options might have sounded slim, but I assure you, I wasn't hurting for choices. After all, I’m prepared. I had at least one series saved up for an occasion such as this. And did I mention I have over 100 books sitting on my Goodreads “to read” shelf and internet access?
It took three days to work up from unconscious floor dweller to the lowest level of brain power required to engage in actual, useful day-job work. Three days! And as it happens, three days (adjusting for naps) was just the right of time to to start and finish Lisa Kleypas' Wallflowers series.
You can find the brief star ratings and titles for each of these novels in my ongoing catalogue of books read, The Big List, so I won't go into specifics. (Although, I would die of happiness to have a conversation about any of these in the comments section.) But suffice it to say, I found this collection of four books to be a delightful confection of light, airy regency romance.
While I generally enjoy a bit of adventure and world building with my bodice-ripping, these books follow the pleasantly predictable formula that all modern regency romances seem to adhere to. For those of you that are unfamiliar with this sub-genre, I'll sum up some of the key story arc mainstays.
- Totally un-marriageable girl (by virtue of age, looks, possessing actual intelligence, lack of fortune, being new money, or recently family-adjacent scandal) is established to be a hopeless case.
- Man of marriage-able age finds himself in possession of a decent fortune (and possibly a title) due to the death of a relative, is established to be a hopeless rake, or both. Either way, he's been marked as prime goods by all the scheming marriage mart mamas and shown to be totally arrogant by the author.
- Girl and boy hate each other or love each other at first sight. Either way, they are deemed to be ill-suited and do not enter into "an understanding."
- Girl and boy are repeatedly thrown together in situations where they can snipe at each other.
- Witty banter
- Boy and girl somehow end up in a compromising situation due to an act of god (weather event, illness, carriage crash, etc.), most likely while trapped at a house party lasting between 2-4 weeks. Both parties are aghast to find themselves engaging in scandalous sucking of face and touching of ankles.
- One or more parties do something redeeming, causing the other to accept that they're not as terrible/shallow/arrogant/brainless/useless as previously thought.
- Brandy is consumed at an uncommon time or in uncommon amounts by men. Sherry is consumed before noon by women.
- More witty banter.
- Bodice ripping of some sort. Female is "compromised," most likely in a carriage or on the floor of an overtly masculine study.
- Something occurs to make one or both characters decide they are unworthy of the other.
- Offer of marriage. There’s always a catch though! Some reason why they can’t be together. The number of wistful sighs increases exponentially.
- Resolution of underlying mystery/adventure plot line, accompanied by some revelation That clears the way for marriage. This always results in a special license being procured (because what's the point of being a duke if you can't get married within 24 hours?) or running off to Gretna Green.
- Everyone is amazed that two people who are so ill-suited love each other.
As one would hope when aiming for light reading, these books did not deviate from the formula and they all ended as they should, with step 14. While the subplots also pulled from a common library of overused storylines (such as the popular "my evil family locked me up to get to my inheritance" or "I can't possibly marry someone from the merchant class" plots), I wasn't disappointed because there was a nice added bonus: I rather liked the women.
Usually I read these books because I enjoy well-crafted witty banter above all things. A close second place is awarded to the joy of watching thoroughly arrogant, make-believe men get their comeuppance, especially after they spend 100 pages proclaiming they couldn't possibly be hog-tied to a woman. But because these books follow a crafty, conniving, scheming, and totally lovable group of castoffs, I found myself enjoying the something new. I reread the scenes where these gals interacted MORE often than the scenes with witty banter or totally evil lawn sports.
AND I LOVE WITTY BANTER AND TOTALLY EVIL LAWN SPORTS (yeah, all caps was warranted), so that says something.
While it’s not my favorite regency romance series (by far), Wallflowers carved out a happy little nook in my crappy week. Book one wasn't as good as books three and four, but I’d say it was worth reading for the back story and OCD containment alone. And there was dangerous lawn bowling in book the fourth. No mallet of death, but not all lawn sports can compete with the Bridgerton pall mall scenes, can they? (Although Rokesby’s comes close!)
I'd also recommend that we all find ourselves some Wallflowers. You know what I mean: friends who we sit in corners and commiserate with us when things aren't going so well or will help us sabotage a perfectly hideous dinner party. (Not the band. Nobody who lived through the 2000s and had ears needs more Jacob Dylan droning on.)
And now, with this post, I've managed to actually talk about books... and I've fulfilled my promise to implicate all of my friends (as they are now officially romance-adjacent) into my little band of closeted romance novel lovers. I'd consider that time well spent.
*Title image credit to David K. Good on you for supplying the better image, sir!
