Eat the things & believe in dinosaurs

Last Wednesday was a terrible day for this nation. The biggest, oiliest, wretch-inducing stain on an already disgusting tableau of nastiness. I won’t joke about what happened. Whether I’m talking about the storming of the capitol by self-styled vigilantes or the continued charade that took place later that night on the floor of the house and senate, it almost doesn’t matter. It’s all one and the same. The only difference is that some sought to undermine the foundations of American democracy with zip ties and others sought to do it with their suits and Yale Law degrees.*

And yes, it hosed my dry January.

To think that this shameful and preventable train wreck played out slowly over weeks and months is so hurtful. I watched it in the much-bemoaned mainstream media, yes, but also with my own eyes. I read his bombastic tweets on Twitter. I heard the actual words coming out of his mouth when he got on stage at his super-spreader events. They were the words of a a narcissistic, self-styled autocrat who wanted the power more than he wanted the job. A job that he hasn’t been doing… at all.

And through it all, I hoped that my friends, my family, my fellow citizens would see sense. After all, there were 60+ court cases that spoke truth to justice, and throughout the summer I heard ad nauseam about how Republicans pride law and order above all else. But no, the courts got it wrong. They didn’t see what was actually happening. It’s all rigged! Donald Trump could not be a loser. He said so himself. He’s the face of the party that’s draining the swamp and he’s going to be the conservative kingmaker for years to come.

I’m sure this rhetoric and the way it took the country by storm scared the shit out of rank-and-file conservatives, but they went with it anyway. The cash was rolling in and MAGA crowds probably made life-long nerds feel like cool kids.

And so a caucus of pandering, placating politicians positioned themselves for table scraps. But instead of getting low, they went up (on stage: literally). They told their adoring public that their guy would be with them and that they’d be safe. We love you. You’re special.

On Wednesday, one man mobilized Americans against Americans for the sake of his ego—so he could feel the power of controlling an angry mob and revel in the optics. I watched our neighbors march on Washington thinking themselves patriots but looking to the rest of us like the one thing that patriots protect the nation from. And then I ate an entire bag of Chex Mix while screaming at the TV. And then I threw out my workout plan. And dry January.

See how my board changed in the hero image.
Because:

Screw insurrectionists
Screw violence without reason
Screw meglomaniacs
Screw toadies
And finally, screw seditionists (unless it’s California that’s succeeding to join a super state with Oregon and Washington in a bloodless revolution powered by poetry and logic because I’M HERE FOR THAT).

But, because I’m me and I have that strangely American trait of bootstrapping deep in my DNA, I have optimism. So, I leave you with the most strangely inspirational thing I’ve seen in awhile. (And thanks to my co-worker Jennings for posting it, even though he had no idea that I saw it.)

Let’s bust out, indeed.

*No disrespect to my actual, hardworking friends at the DOJ with Yale Law degrees. You have the patience of saints and have definitely fought the good fight. When this pandemic is over and I get out to Virginia, you deserve all the drinks!