Things I've typed in the last 7 hours

I think that it's better if I don't provide any context.  

"oh dear. you're never gonna get off that toilet if you start reading chapter 9, bro"

"if i’m going to descend into terrible eating habits i have to go hush puppies. LEEROY JENKINS!" 

"That moment when I realize that "<coworkers name> place" is your house and not some dive bar.
Also the moment when I realize I'm too braindead to do anything useful and decide to go home, drink rosé out of a sippy cup, and read "How to Marry a Werewolf"

"meanwhile, I've always wondered how to marry a werewolf. so, i'm sure it'll be instructional"

"no amount of cronuts can fix that"

"and there was the long exasperated sigh i was waiting for"